By Erin Treloar
Over the years I’ve had my fair share of moments when it felt like I was doing everything wrong and it was hard to face myself in the morning. For the most part I was able to play the part of a confident girl but the conversation going on in my head was anything but. I missed events when I felt self-conscious about my body, obsessed over past conversations (especially ones with guys) and had a negative spiral of thoughts reeling through my mind that was toxic. Over the years I’ve managed to do a complete 180 and not surprisingly the more confident I’ve become the more things in my have fallen into place. Here are five tried and true confidence-boosting tips that have helped me along the way.
1. Treat your body well.
It doesn’t matter if you are 90lbs or 250lbs. The moment you start looking after yourself you show yourself and others that you are worthy of love. Eating well, exercising, giving yourself time to rest and scheduling time to do the things you are passionate about are guaranteed ways to boost your confidence quickly.
2. Ditch friends who bring you down.
We’ve all had that friend who never has anything nice to say and has made it their goal to make you feel miserable. They get high from bringing you down. Usually these people are battling their own demons but at a certain point it is unhealthy to keep them around. You only live once. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, inspire you and make you the best version of yourself.
It’s amazing how we shut ourselves off to the world when we aren’t feeling confident. We lower our gaze, our body language becomes closed off and we keep our eyes glued to our phones or anything that will prevent us from having to engage. Have you ever done this in the elevator or when you run into acquaintances unexpectedly? Even if you aren’t feeling confident ‘fake it ‘till you make it’! Pull your shoulders back, smile and make eye-contact. If you aren’t sure what to say start by asking a question about the other person. How is your day going? I noticed you are reading the new _________ book…is it any good? I love your shirt…where is it from? Take the focus away from you and give someone else confidence by showing that you are interested in them. It’s a win-win!
4. Stop worrying about what everyone else is saying about you.
This is the biggest trap we fall into when we aren’t feeling confident. We start obsessing over people’s opinions of us, replaying conversations from the past (did I sound dumb? I can’t believe I said that! etc.) and changing ourselves to please others. The moment we start over-thinking things we freeze up and usually become awkward or closed off. People’s opinions of us are just that….their opinions. Next time you enter the spiral trap of obsessive thinking stop yourself, take a deep breath and say, “That was in the past, I only have control of the now. Everything will be ok.” Then re-avert your attention to something that will make you and your body feel good in the moment (no that does not mean eating a pint of ice cream!). See #1 for feel good options that will truly make you feel better.
5. Learn to love yourself starting right now.
Baby it’s a cold world out there and at the end of the day you are your best friend. Treat yourself that way. Talk to yourself the way you would like your best friend to talk to you. If you like hanging around with people who tell you that you’re fat and shouldn’t have eaten that cookie then by all means keep the negative self-talk flowing. If you want to hang out with people who lift you up, see the best in you and can laugh gently at your faults then you have to start with YOU. You hang out with yourself 24/7. You can be your biggest bully or your biggest fan. You choose. Start being someone you’d like to hang out with right now.
If you have other confidence boosting pieces of advice we would love to hear them! Comment below or email them our way and we’ll share them with others.