Photography by Jay Salbert
Occupation: Executive Assistant/Marketing at Scooter Braun Projects
Tell us about yourself in under 100 words.
I’m a 21-year-old working student who loves boy bands more than most things. Most days I think I was born ten years too early.
If you were talking on the phone to someone you had never met how would you describe your appearance?
I would start with my blue hair and my nose ring – since those are the aspects of my appearance that I always wanted when I was younger. I literally used to feel like I couldn’t truly be me until I accomplished those two additions to my appearance – and I was actually pretty right. Then I’d go with the more obvious identifiers like black woman with brown eyes, etc. One time a guy descried me as medium. Like literally medium everything. Medium skin tone, medium height, medium weight. I was briefly offended before I realized that it was kind of awesome. Like, yeah dude, I am kind of medium. Super hot though. That part’s not medium.
AMAZING!! Medium rocks and we agree you’re hot! Have you ever struggled with a lack of confidence or insecurities?
Of course. The past 3 years of my life have been the most confident I’ve ever felt, but it took a ridiculously long time to get here. I used to worry about everything from my weight ,to my height, to my skin, to my personality. I was a very round child and it took me a while to get out of that mindset. When I got to high school, I brought all those insecurities with me, but masked them underneath my crazy pop/punk phase. Wearing random band tee’s, fishnets, cowboy boots, short shorts and feathers to my “modest” Quaker school helped me realize you that no one really cares what I look like. That phase, as ridiculous as it was, was incredibly instrumental in allowing me to fully embrace everything that makes me, me. That being said, I still struggle with things daily. Most days I’m fully aware of how amazing I am, but I struggle with believing other people can see it too. That’s my next battle.
When do you feel most beautiful?
I used to feel the most beautiful when I had my make up professionally done on the way to a fancy event. But then I began to realize true beauty could be found when you’re truest to yourself. I mean, even Drake said “Sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no make-up on. That’s when you’re the prettiest, I hope that you don’t take it wrong…” So it HAS to be true. Ultimately, I feel the most beautiful when I’m not comparing myself to others. Those are the best moments.
What are your “Not Enough” feelings?
When I was younger, I was essentially made up of “Not Enough” feelings. As I got older, I began to realize that those thoughts were holding me back in almost every facet of my life. Now I find myself having more “Too Much” thoughts than anything else. I think it’s my attempt at shrinking myself, but I never let it get too far. My journey to confidence is often hindered by the fact that openly loving yourself frankly isn’t that common. It’s looked upon as being conceited instead of secure, so it’s safer to reject those positive thoughts even when you feel they’re true. Sometimes it’s easier to say “Well, this is as good as it’s gonna get” when looking in the mirror instead of “Damn, I look good….” Even if you look, like, really good.
If you were given the option to change your appearance would you? If yes, what would you change?
No. I love my appearance – flaws and all. There are always going to be those days where I wish I’d done an extra sit up (or maybe just that first sit up), but I wouldn’t change that. No one’s perfect.
What are 5 things you love about yourself?
My sense of humor, my dedication, my style, my eyes, and my heart does its best – most of the time.
I say cellulite, you think:
What is your message to other women out there?
There are no rules… And love yourself. People always say “love yourself first” when talking about relationships, but I say that about life in general. Everything got exponentially better for me when I realized that I don’t have to be my own worst enemy.
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